Advice From Liz and Kiki
by TwOpEaSiNaHpWoRlD
Summary: Liz and Kiki, two crazy fanfiction writers decided to put up an advice coulmn for witches and wizards. But something tells me that they're not so good at it.


A/N  
hi. This is Kiki. yeah. review.

Discliamer: WE OWN NOTHING YOU RECONGIZE!

Dear Liz and Kiki,  
I dearly love my best friend. But I don't know if she likes me or not. What should I do?  
-ChudelyCannonsFan (sp?)

Dear ChudelyCannonsFan,  
Forget it. All of the H/hr shippers will mob you. Too bad, so sad, eh ronniekins?  
-Kiki

Dear Liz and Kiki,  
I'm and evil person, and I have a lot of deatheaters. I make them kill people. but, sadly, I'm in love with a man named Dumbledore, who works for the other side. What should I do?  
-The dark lord

Dear the dark lord,  
Nobody loves you.  
-Liz

Dear Liz and Kiki,  
My boyfriend broke up with me recently because he was trying to protect me. What should I do to get him to know that I don't care.  
-Fiery Redhead

Dear fieryredhead,  
Just snog him endlessly and he'll come back, don't worry. If not... can you get your mum to knit me a sweater? I heard there very warm!  
-Kiki

Dear Liz and Kiki,  
My favorite color is black. I even painted my nails black, even though I'm a boy. My parents say I'm depressed, and they wanna put me in counseling. What should I do?  
-Blonde with an attitude

Dear Blonde with an attitude,  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You need counseling! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And how does that make you feel! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

-Liz

Dear Liz and Kiki,  
The death of a recent close person has affected me greatly. And now I don't know how to get over it... How do I get over it?  
-Scarhead

Dear Scarhead,  
I'm sorry. I suggest you go to a relative who cares for comfort. Oh wait. You have none! Hahahaha! Okay sorry I'm done laughing. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh sorry, that just slipped out. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA! But your godfather was pretttttty hot... hahahahaha! Yeah, he was.  
-Kiki

Dear Liz and Kiki,  
My hair is very greasy. People make fun of me all the time because of it. I heard that the two of you have great hair, and I want to ask you a favor. Will you lend me your shampoo?  
-Greasy haired git.

Dear Greasy haired git,  
No. Nah nah nah nah boo boo! -sticks tongue out-  
-Liz

Dear Liz and Kiki,  
I love chocolate. But some people think I am weird for offering them chocolate too much, and they torment me. What should I do?  
-chocolateaddictedwerewolf

Dear chocolateaddictedwerewolf,  
You are weird! In Harry's third year, you asked like 3 times! It is sooooo annoying! I don't even know how many times you ask people a day know, but it must be a lot! You are sooooooo weird! I cant beli- Oh wait a second. I was supposed to give you advice huh. Just forget everything I said, okie dokie? And one more thing- MARRY TONKS FOR GOODNESS SAKES! NO ONE CARES THAT YOU ARE AN OLD, POOR, CHOCOLATE EATING WEIRD WEREWOLF! sorry, I didn't mean to use caps lock...

Dear Liz and Kiki,  
I saw a fanfiction that said I was supposed to marry Harry. I don't wanna. What should I do?  
-Blonde with even MORE attitude.

Dear Nobody cares about you're name,  
Poor you, have some chocolate- Remus, give me back that paper right now! I'm here now. And I have just one thing to say. How do you feel about that?  
-Liz

Dear Liz and Kiki,  
Become a Death eater! Purebloods welcome!  
-deatheater4ever  
dear deatheater4ever,  
WTF? Bugger off before I sick Harry Potter on you. Fear his wrath off cap lockiness.  
-Kiki

Dear Liz and Kiki,  
Become a Death eater... please?  
-deatheater4everagain

Dear deateater4everagain,  
Cool. I get to wreak havoc and cause mayhem EVERYWHERE! AND, I get to be evil... When can I sign up!  
-Liz

Dear Liz and Kiki,  
I love you two. You guys are hot.  
-weirdo

Dear weirdo,  
uh...  
okay...  
If your name is currently Fred or George Weasely, Sirius Black, Draco Malfoy, or Harry Potter; I will go out with you. And the same goes for Liz. So bugger off loser.  
-Kiki

Dear Liz and Kiki,  
I'm in love with my brother. We are twins. I really do love him, what should I do?  
-Twin with a problem

Dear Twin with a problem,  
EW! TWINCEST! EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW!  
-Liz

A/N  
Review. This is not meaning to offend nobody. Flames will be used for roasting sticky notes. :)

Kiki


End file.
